My body feels awake, but my mind is dimming—like it’s trying to shut down behind the scenes. This is what it’s like to push through life with sleep deprivation and cognitive disconnection.

I never learned the basics of being human—how to listen to my body, how to trust my thoughts, how to know what matters. Now I’m building that foundation for the first time, from the ground up.

Emerging from a culture filled with falsehoods, I began to distinguish genuine truths from manipulative deceptions.

After a lifetime of spiritual confusion and emotional survival, I’m discovering what presence actually feels like—and it’s not mystical or magical. It’s shocking, real, and right here.

What looks like a midlife panic might actually be your first real arrival. When you’ve spent decades dissociated or in survival mode, hitting 43 doesn’t just mean aging—it means realizing how much of your life happened without you in it. This piece explores the shock of coming back into your body, the grief of unlived years, and the terrifying beauty of finally being here.

Campy humor thrives on artifice and exaggeration—but for those recovering from performative survival modes, it can feel hollow, jarring, or even offensive. Here's why.

Fleabag’s farewell to the fourth wall isn’t just a clever narrative choice—it’s a metaphor for healing. When she stops turning to us, her imagined audience, she chooses presence over protection. For those navigating dissociation or DPDR, this moment lands like a mirror.

I've spent years feeling like I was manually intercepting every thought, emotion, and fear before it could destroy me. Then I realized—my mind has been playing a nonstop game of Missile Command. And I'm finally learning how to put down the joystick.

I used to rage at my parents for not seeing what was happening to me. But now I understand—they couldn’t. Because they weren’t given the tools to see themselves. This isn’t just about trauma. It’s about intergenerational blindness. And I’m the one breaking that pattern.

What does it actually feel like to reclaim your sense of reality after being taught to mistrust your own knowing? This blog explores the lived, layered process of returning to the body after religious gaslighting, emotional neglect, and dissociative survival.