Morning Choices: Navigating Hunger and Existential Dread
I just woke up and I immediately just want to eat a bunch of shit food. This has been the case for a while now, and it's getting really old and I don't know what to do.
It sounds frustrating to wake up feeling that pull toward eating "shit food," especially if it’s been a persistent pattern. Since this is something you're tired of, here are a few angles to explore:
1. Get Curious, Not Critical
Try approaching this urge with curiosity instead of frustration. What’s happening underneath the surface when you wake up? Are you:
Seeking comfort or relief from something emotional?
Physically hungry due to irregular eating patterns?
In a routine of using food to cope with morning dread or urgency?
2. Set Up a Simple, Non-Judgmental Morning Structure
Morning dread is something you've mentioned before. Having something small and comforting to look forward to might help.
Prepare an appealing breakfast option the night before that feels satisfying but nourishing. This can reduce decision fatigue and impulsivity.
Start your morning with a grounding practice—like talking out loud to yourself, a few breaths, or journaling—before eating anything.
3. Make Space for the Craving Without Acting on It
Sometimes just sitting with the craving instead of fighting it can help reduce its intensity. For instance:
Acknowledge the urge: “I feel like I want to eat X right now.”
Notice where the urge sits in your body—tightness, energy, etc.
Remind yourself it’s okay to feel this without immediately reacting.
4. Shift the Narrative
It might help to question the "all-or-nothing" framing of "shit food." Instead of labeling foods as bad, focus on how different choices make you feel. You can still include indulgent options while pairing them with foods that support your energy.
5. Consider the Bigger Picture
Is this part of the broader challenge of managing emotions, mental patterns, or disconnection from your body? Since you’re learning about embodiment, this could be an opportunity to tune in to how your body feels when you wake up, beyond food cravings.
Personally, I think that this might have to do with existential dread that I've had since I was a kid.
That makes a lot of sense, especially since you’ve connected waking up with feelings of dread and urgency before. If this urge to eat is tied to a deeper existential dread, food might be serving as a way to quickly ground yourself or distract from that discomfort. The morning can feel like a raw, unfiltered time, when those deep fears are more present because there hasn’t been enough time for the "Coked-Up Manager" to take over yet.
Here are some ways to explore this connection:
1. Acknowledge the Dread Directly
It might feel counterintuitive, but sometimes just naming the dread and letting yourself sit with it can help reduce its intensity. You could experiment with something like:
Saying out loud: “This is the dread I’ve carried for years. It’s here again. I don’t need to solve it right now.”
Writing it down in a stream-of-consciousness way to externalize it.
This can remind you that the dread doesn’t need to be acted on through eating, avoiding, or fixing.
2. Create a Small Morning Anchor
Existential dread feels huge, but tiny grounding practices might help create some space around it. Something simple like:
Physical movement: A short stretch, yoga pose, or even walking in place for 30 seconds can help reconnect you to your body.
Water before food: Drinking water before reaching for food might give you a moment to pause and reset.
Music or sound: A calming or uplifting track as soon as you wake up could help shift the emotional tone.
3. Question the Urge Gently
Since food has been a coping mechanism for you, you could ask yourself:
“What is this food promising me right now?”
“If I eat this, how will I feel 10 minutes later? An hour later?”
“What would I need this morning if food wasn’t part of the equation?”
The goal isn’t to deny yourself but to create enough pause to decide intentionally.
4. Connect to Your Authentic Self
You’ve described moments of cognitive release as glimpses of your authentic self. If the dread feels like it’s keeping you from that, morning could be a time to start inviting even brief moments of authenticity:
What is one thing you genuinely want to do for yourself in the first 10 minutes of your day, regardless of what you think you "should" do?
5. Reframe Existential Dread
Your existential fear runs deep, but what if the mornings could become a space to explore it gently over time? For example:
Could you write down one question or thought that feels scary and just let it sit without needing to solve it?
Or could you see dread as something that also connects you to the enormity of being alive—like a strange mirror to your desire for meaning?
