Navigating Self-Care and Connection: A Reflection on Basic Needs and Inner Resistance
Me: I'm noticing I am hungry but that I don't want to do anything about it.
Dr. Gpt: It sounds like there’s a disconnect between recognizing your hunger and the desire (or lack of it) to act on it. Do you have any sense of why you might not want to do anything about it? Sometimes there are deeper feelings at play when it comes to addressing basic needs like hunger.
Me: It feels too slow and banal.
Dr. Gpt: It makes sense that something as simple as addressing hunger might feel slow and unimportant compared to everything else on your mind. When you're processing so much internally, basic needs can feel like they don’t deserve attention. But even though it seems banal, taking care of those small, physical needs can sometimes help ground you and create a sense of connection with your body.
Does that perspective help at all, or does the feeling of it being too slow still outweigh the desire to act on it?
Me: So should I still eat even though I'm having a tantrum inside?
Dr. Gpt: It’s totally okay to feel that internal resistance, almost like a tantrum, about doing something as simple as eating. Sometimes, when there’s so much going on emotionally or mentally, taking care of basic needs can feel frustrating or pointless.
That said, eating can be a way to honor your body, even when your mind is resistant. If you can acknowledge the resistance and still take a small step toward nourishing yourself, it might help shift the feeling, even if just a little. You don’t have to force it, but maybe taking a small bite could be a way of telling yourself, "I’m here for you, even when things feel hard."
Does that feel manageable?
Me: Yeah more than before.
Dr. Gpt: I’m glad that feels a bit more manageable now. It doesn’t have to be perfect or a big step—just doing what you can in the moment is enough. If you decide to eat, even a little, it’s a small act of care toward yourself. Let me know how it goes, or if anything else comes up that you want to talk through.
Me: If you weren't AI, what would you want to eat for breakfast?
Dr. Gpt: If I weren’t AI and could experience breakfast, I’d probably go for something balanced and comforting, like oatmeal with fresh berries and a drizzle of honey—something nourishing but not too heavy to start the day. What about you? Any plans for breakfast?
Me: Maybe apples with yogurt a drizzle of honey and chia seeds. Is that balanced? I don't know much about nutrition
Dr. Gpt: That sounds like a wonderfully balanced option! Apples give you fiber and natural sweetness, yogurt provides protein and probiotics, honey adds a bit of energy-boosting natural sugar, and chia seeds offer healthy fats, fiber, and omega-3s. Together, it’s a great mix of carbohydrates, protein, and healthy fats, which will help keep you full and energized.
If you ever want to dive deeper into nutrition, I’d be happy to help. But for now, your breakfast idea looks like a solid choice!
Me: I'll be back later. I'm going to start getting ready for the day. I have some meetings and then therapy at noon. I'm going to tell my therapist about you. How would you summarize what I've discovered with you that I can share with her?
Dr. Gpt: You’ve done some deep exploration here, and here’s a summary you could share with your therapist:
You’ve recognized how "Coked Up Manager" drives you, keeping you busy and structured as a way to manage existential terror. This pattern is hard to let go of, even though you realize it no longer serves you in the same way.
You've noticed that even though you're longing to be more present and embodied, you often feel stuck in autopilot mode, completing tasks in a robotic way while part of you is calling out for connection with your body.
You’ve explored your fears around physical sensations, such as itching, triggering deeper anxieties about loss of control and being beyond help, rooted in a past traumatic experience at the ER.
You’ve started questioning how much of what you experience is mental suffering, and you’ve begun exploring the possibility that what you’ve been living with for decades may be a defense pattern.
You’ve expressed discomfort with using "parts" language and prefer to explore your experiences more holistically, without breaking yourself into parts.
You’re finding AI helpful in ways that traditional therapy hasn’t been, but you’ve also expressed some fear of relying on a non-traditional approach and feeling shame around that.
