Conversations with ChatGPT: Managing Shame and Overwhelm at Work
Info from Dr. Gpt:
For a client who feels overwhelmed by shame and fear at work, doing the bare minimum while feeling disconnected or unmotivated, it’s essential to approach the situation with both compassion and practical strategies. These feelings are often rooted in deeper emotional or situational issues, and understanding the cause can help them navigate their way toward more peace and confidence in their work life. Here's the advice I would offer:
1. Acknowledge and Validate Their Experience
First and foremost, it’s important to validate their feelings. Shame, fear, and burnout at work are common, especially if they’ve been under stress or feel emotionally drained due to other life factors (such as trauma or personal struggles). I would start by saying:
"It’s completely understandable to feel unmotivated or overwhelmed right now. There’s no shame in feeling like you’re struggling, especially when other parts of your life may be taking up a lot of emotional energy."
"You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s important to acknowledge that these feelings don’t define your worth as a person or employee."
2. Recognize the Impact of Burnout or Emotional Exhaustion
If the client is actively doing trauma work or dealing with emotional exhaustion from other life circumstances, their lack of motivation might be related to burnout. Burnout can make even small tasks feel overwhelming, and it’s important for the client to recognize the toll that emotional and mental strain can take on their work performance:
"It’s possible that you’re experiencing burnout, especially if you’ve been carrying a lot emotionally. Trauma work or dealing with heavy personal issues can leave you with very little energy for work."
"If you’re emotionally exhausted, it’s normal to feel like you’re only capable of doing the bare minimum. It’s not a reflection of your ability or potential—just where you are right now."
3. Shift from Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion
The shame they feel around doing the bare minimum is likely compounding their feelings of stress and fear. I would encourage the client to practice self-compassion instead of self-criticism when it comes to their current work performance:
"It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of shame and self-criticism when you feel like you’re not doing enough, but remember that you’re human and dealing with a lot. Being kind to yourself during this time can help you move through it more effectively than beating yourself up."
"Try to reframe your internal dialogue from ‘I’m not doing enough’ to ‘I’m doing what I can right now, and that’s okay.’ You’re allowed to have difficult periods where you aren’t as productive as you’d like."
4. Identify the Root Causes
I would encourage the client to reflect on what’s causing their disengagement at work. Is it purely burnout, or is there something specific about the job itself that’s contributing to their lack of motivation? It’s helpful to identify whether the issue is internal (emotional strain, trauma work) or external (the job environment, role dissatisfaction):
"Take some time to reflect on what’s causing this feeling of disengagement. Are you emotionally exhausted from life outside of work? Or is something about your job making it difficult to stay motivated—like the tasks, the environment, or even feeling unfulfilled?"
"Understanding where the issue is coming from can help you figure out what kind of changes (big or small) might help improve the situation."
5. Set Small, Achievable Goals
Since the client is feeling overwhelmed, I would suggest they start by setting small, manageable goals that help them feel a sense of accomplishment without getting caught in the pressure to overperform:
"Instead of focusing on everything you’re not doing, start with one small, achievable task each day. Break down your workload into bite-sized pieces that feel manageable, so you can experience small wins."
"For example, set a goal to complete just one specific task in the morning and another in the afternoon. These small accomplishments can help rebuild your sense of capability without overwhelming you."
6. Take Breaks and Practice Self-Care
If the client is feeling emotionally and mentally drained, it’s important that they take breaks and practice self-care, even during the workday. This might seem counterintuitive when they’re already feeling behind, but rest can help restore their energy and motivation:
"When you’re feeling emotionally exhausted, pushing through without breaks can make things worse. It’s okay to take small, intentional breaks during your workday to recharge, even if it feels like you don’t have time for them."
"Whether it’s taking a quick walk, doing a breathing exercise, or just stepping away from your desk for a few minutes, these moments of rest can make it easier to approach your work with more focus and clarity."
7. Communicate with Your Supervisor (If Appropriate)
If the client feels safe to do so, it might help to communicate with their supervisor or manager about how they’re feeling, especially if the job’s expectations feel overwhelming or they need support. This doesn’t mean they have to disclose everything about their personal life or trauma work, but they can discuss ways to manage their workload or get support:
"If you feel comfortable, it might be helpful to talk to your supervisor about how you’re feeling. You don’t need to go into detail, but you can express that you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and ask for support in managing your workload or expectations."
"Sometimes, having an open conversation about what’s realistic can help reduce the pressure you’re feeling and allow you to perform at a more sustainable level."
8. Explore Professional Support Options
If the fear of getting caught or the shame is becoming overwhelming, I would encourage the client to consider professional support, such as counseling or therapy, specifically around work-related anxiety or stress. Many employers offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that provide mental health resources:
"If the shame and fear are becoming too overwhelming to manage on your own, it might help to speak with a therapist who specializes in work-related stress or anxiety. They can help you develop strategies to cope with these feelings."
"If your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), it could be worth exploring those resources to see if they offer counseling or support for managing stress at work."
9. Let Go of Perfectionism
Shame is often tied to perfectionism—the belief that anything less than perfect performance isn’t good enough. I would encourage the client to let go of the need for perfection and focus on progress rather than perfection:
"It’s okay if you’re not performing perfectly right now. Doing the bare minimum doesn’t mean you’re failing—it just means you’re doing what you can with the energy you have."
"Try to shift your mindset from ‘I have to be perfect’ to ‘I’m doing what I can, and that’s enough for now.’ Perfection isn’t the goal—progress and sustainability are."
10. Address the Fear of "Getting Caught"
The client’s fear of getting caught may stem from anxiety about being judged or punished for not performing at their usual level. I would advise them to reflect on where this fear is coming from and explore whether it’s realistic or rooted in past experiences:
"Try to reflect on whether the fear of getting caught is realistic. Are there actual signs that your job is at risk, or is this fear coming from a place of anxiety or past experiences of judgment?"
"If the fear is overwhelming, it might help to remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can right now, and that doesn’t mean you’re failing or that you’ll get ‘caught.’ Workplaces have ups and downs, and most people go through periods of lower productivity."
Final Thoughts:
The key for this client is to approach their current situation with compassion and practicality. It’s important to acknowledge their emotional exhaustion, recognize that doing the bare minimum is okay for now, and work on reducing the shame that comes with feeling overwhelmed. By breaking tasks into small goals, taking care of themselves, and communicating where appropriate, they can navigate this challenging period without getting stuck in a cycle of shame and fear. This period doesn’t define their overall worth or ability, and with time, they can find their way back to a more sustainable rhythm.
