Balancing Rest and Learning During Trauma Recovery: Compassionate Strategies
Info from Dr. Gpt:
When a client is deep in trauma work and experiencing lethargy alongside a strong desire to read and learn, it’s understandable that she might feel stuck and frustrated with herself. Trauma work can be emotionally and physically exhausting, often leaving people feeling drained, with little energy for activities that require focus, like reading. On top of that, shame about watching TV instead of reading can increase her emotional burden. The key is to address both the shame she’s feeling and the realistic energy limitations that come with trauma healing, while also finding ways to honor her desire to read in a compassionate, gradual way.
Here’s the advice you could offer:
1. Validate the Exhaustion and Normalize TV as Rest
First, it’s important to validate her exhaustion and let her know that feeling lethargic is a normal response to trauma work. Trauma work is demanding on the nervous system, and her body and mind may need more rest than usual. Watching TV can provide a mental break and offer emotional relief, which is essential when doing deep emotional processing.
Advice: Reassure her that watching TV is not something to feel ashamed of, especially when she is deep in trauma work. Her body might be telling her that it needs rest and comfort, and TV can offer a form of emotional recovery. Remind her that rest is part of healing and that watching TV is a valid way to relax during this time.
2. Reframe TV as a Bridge to Learning
Rather than seeing TV as the opposite of reading, she can reframe TV as a bridge to learning and exploring the world in a more accessible way for where she is right now. There are many high-quality, informative TV shows and documentaries that can engage her mind without the same energy commitment that reading requires.
Advice: Encourage her to explore documentaries, educational series, or TV shows that align with her interests and values. This way, she can still learn about the world while honoring her need for rest. This can also help reduce the shame she feels about watching TV because she’ll still be engaging with new information and learning.
3. Honor Her Values by Starting Small with Reading
Her desire to read is a sign that she values learning and intellectual growth, but the energy required for reading may be too much right now. It’s important to find ways to honor her values without setting unrealistic expectations. She can start by reading small sections of a book, short articles, or essays—whatever feels more manageable.
Advice: Suggest that she set a very small, realistic goal for reading—such as one page a day or five minutes of reading at a time. This way, she’s still aligning with her value of learning without overwhelming herself. Gradually, she may find that her focus and energy for reading grow over time.
4. Integrate Audio Books or Podcasts
If reading feels too demanding, she can still engage with books and new ideas through audiobooks or podcasts. These options are less energy-intensive and can be enjoyed while lying down, resting, or even while watching TV. Audiobooks and podcasts can offer a way to learn and absorb new information without the same focus and concentration that reading requires.
Advice: Recommend she explore audiobooks on topics she’s interested in or podcasts that explore themes aligned with her values. This allows her to continue learning in a more accessible format for her current energy level.
5. Address the Shame with Self-Compassion
It’s essential to help her challenge the shame she’s feeling about watching TV and not reading as much as she’d like. Self-compassion is crucial here. Her values are guiding her toward learning, which is important, but she is also navigating trauma healing, which requires rest and gentleness. The shame she feels about watching TV may be driven by internalized perfectionism or high expectations about productivity.
Advice: Encourage her to practice self-compassion by reminding herself that she is doing deep healing work, and it’s okay to rest. She can say to herself, “I’m healing, and it’s okay to need rest. Learning will still be there when I have the energy for it.” Suggest she reframe rest as productive in its own way, as it’s allowing her to recover and eventually reengage with the things she values, like reading.
6. Explore the Intersection of TV and Reading
Sometimes, starting with lighter forms of reading that connect to what she’s already watching can help bridge the gap between TV and books. For example, if she enjoys a specific show or movie, she could read articles, fan theories, or even short reviews about it. This could help rekindle her connection to reading in a way that’s related to what she’s already enjoying.
Advice: Encourage her to explore short pieces of writing connected to the TV shows or movies she’s watching. This might ease her into reading by making it more relevant and connected to something that already feels comforting.
7. Incorporate Learning During TV Breaks
If she feels like TV is taking up a lot of time and wants to introduce more learning, she can balance the two without giving up TV altogether. During breaks between episodes or while taking a pause from watching, she could read a few pages or an article, even if it’s just for a few minutes. This way, she can integrate both her desire for learning and the need for rest.
Advice: Suggest that she try reading during TV breaks. For example, after an episode of a show, she could read for five minutes before starting the next episode. This keeps reading in her routine but doesn’t require her to choose one over the other.
8. Accept Where She Is in Her Healing Process
It’s important to remind her that this period of low energy and reliance on TV is a phase of her healing process, not a permanent state. Trauma work ebbs and flows, and there will be times when she has more energy to read, learn, and engage intellectually, and times when her body and mind need more rest and comfort.
Advice: Help her accept that she is in a period where her body and mind need more rest, and that’s okay. The desire to read and learn will still be there when she’s ready. Healing from trauma is not linear, and this period of low energy is part of the process, not a sign of failure.
Final Thoughts:
Your client is navigating a challenging balance between wanting to read and learn, which aligns with her values, and needing to rest and unwind, which is part of her healing process. By reframing TV as a valid form of rest, introducing small reading goals, and exploring alternative forms of learning like audiobooks or podcasts, she can ease the tension between these two desires. Encouraging her to practice self-compassion and recognize that this phase of rest is a necessary part of her trauma recovery will help alleviate the shame she feels about watching TV. Gradually, as she heals, she may find more energy to reengage with her love for reading and learning.
