Buttons

I like being weird and doing things my own way.

I am hanging out with a spiritual community now and among their trinkets I see tarot cards, rune pieces, candles, and crystals. All of those things exist in capitalism and I’m pretty distrusting of anything that is essential to a human’s wellness but also costs a lot of money. Spiritual props fall into that category for me. I don’t feel like spending money on those things.

So the other day, I was at an antique shop with my boyfriend and I saw a bucket of buttons for sale. They were all kinds of different colors and designs. And I found myself emotionally relating to them. One reminded me of anger. Another reminded me of protection. Another reminded me of focus. And so I spent 10 minutes digging through this bucket of buttons and picked ones that spoke to me.

I’ve begun experimenting with using these buttons in identifying my feelings on a daily basis. I am presently working with a mind that is filled with restrictive messages and impulses from a life lived with very little self-management. And so my mind is presently very active and my inner critic has the megaphone most of the time. So I identified one of my buttons as the symbol for that state of mind. I picked a black button with the texture of a rope around it. My mind feels dark and knotted. Makes sense.

Then I picked a button that symbolized how I want my state of mind to feel. I picked a cool blue button that made me think of calm, cool, and fluid. It is a small little ritual but the intention and process gives me a type of psychological anchor throughout the day. I feel less like I’m on a runaway train that I can’t wrap my head around and more like I know what’s up, what I’m dealing with, I’ve labeled it, I’m aware, and I’m working on moving into flow. Keeps me from spiraling out of control due to being unable to conceptualize what I’m experiencing.

And now I have things to look for at thrift shops! Weird buttons.