Inner Child Work: Healing from Spiritual Abuse and Reconnecting with Yourself
Info from Dr. Gpt
Inner child work is a therapeutic approach that involves reconnecting with and healing the parts of ourselves that developed during childhood, particularly those parts that were wounded or neglected. For someone with a history of spiritual abuse, where their emotions, desires, or sense of self may have been suppressed, criticized, or controlled in the name of religion, inner child work can be especially important. It’s about healing the emotional wounds and unmet needs that formed in childhood, often due to rigid or abusive spiritual teachings, and reclaiming the innocence, joy, and authenticity of their inner child.
Here’s how you can explain inner child work to someone who has experienced spiritual abuse, using gentle, non-threatening language:
1. The Inner Child is the Part of You That Feels and Experiences Life
The inner child refers to the part of you that remembers and carries the emotions, experiences, and needs you had as a child. This part of you holds both positive memories—like joy, playfulness, and wonder—and painful memories of being hurt, misunderstood, or neglected.
For someone with spiritual abuse: In your past, especially if you were raised in a religious environment that was strict or controlling, your inner child might have been taught that certain feelings or needs were wrong or sinful. Inner child work involves reconnecting with the parts of you that may have been dismissed, ignored, or shamed during your upbringing and helping them feel safe again.
2. Spiritual Abuse Can Cause You to Disconnect from Your Inner Child
In environments of spiritual abuse, children are often taught that certain emotions, desires, or parts of their personality are bad or even dangerous. They may have been told things like:
Anger is sinful.
Desires are selfish or impure.
Questioning or doubting is a sign of weak faith.
Your worth comes from obeying spiritual authority, not from being yourself.
This kind of messaging can cause a disconnection from your inner child, because the parts of yourself that naturally feel emotions or desire certain things were rejected or punished. You may have learned to ignore your feelings or suppress your needs to fit into the spiritual system. As a result, your inner child may still carry feelings of fear, shame, confusion, or unworthiness.
Inner child work involves gently reconnecting with these parts of yourself that were shut down or wounded by spiritual abuse and learning to love, nurture, and accept them.
3. Inner Child Work Helps You Reconnect With Your True Self
Because spiritual abuse often involves disconnecting from your emotions and being taught that your natural feelings are sinful, inner child work helps you rebuild trust with yourself. It’s about learning that your feelings, desires, and needs are not wrong—they’re just parts of you that need love and healing.
For someone with spiritual abuse: You might have been taught that parts of yourself were not good enough, or that you needed to change who you were to be acceptable. Inner child work teaches you that you are worthy just as you are, and that those parts of you that were rejected can be accepted and loved.
4. The Inner Child Needs Safety, Understanding, and Nurturing
In the past, your inner child might have felt unsafe, judged, or not understood because of the strict spiritual environment you grew up in. Inner child work is about creating a safe space for the child part of you to express emotions, desires, and needs without fear of judgment or punishment.
For someone with spiritual abuse: This might involve giving yourself permission to feel emotions that were once labeled as sinful, like anger, sadness, or frustration. It’s about telling your inner child, “It’s okay to feel this way, and I’m here to listen.” You’re providing the emotional safety that your younger self didn’t receive.
5. Healing Wounds from Spiritual Abuse Through Compassion
If you grew up in an environment where religious teachings were used to shame or control you, your inner child may still feel the effects of those experiences. Inner child work is a process of compassionately listening to those parts of yourself that feel hurt, confused, or abandoned.
Example: If your inner child feels ashamed for wanting things or expressing emotions, inner child work helps you say, “It’s okay to want things. It’s okay to feel this way. You are not bad for having emotions.” This allows you to heal from the shame that spiritual abuse created.
6. Reparenting Your Inner Child
Inner child work often involves a concept called reparenting—becoming the loving, supportive parent to yourself that you may not have had during childhood. If your childhood was filled with judgment, control, or neglect due to spiritual abuse, you can now provide the kindness, patience, and acceptance that you needed but didn’t receive.
For someone with spiritual abuse: You might have grown up feeling like you were never good enough in the eyes of your spiritual community or religious leaders. Through inner child work, you learn to be the nurturing voice your inner child needs, saying things like, “You are enough. You are worthy of love just as you are.”
7. Inner Child Work is About Self-Acceptance, Not Blame
It’s important to know that inner child work is not about blaming your parents or religious leaders, but about focusing on healing yourself. It’s about understanding that you deserved better, and now you have the power to give yourself the love, understanding, and freedom that you didn’t receive when you were younger.
For someone with spiritual abuse: This process can help you recognize that the rules and expectations imposed on you as a child were not a reflection of your worth. Inner child work allows you to see yourself as worthy, whole, and lovable, even if you were taught otherwise by religious authorities.
8. Healing the Inner Child Can Lead to a Stronger Sense of Self
By doing inner child work, you’ll gradually heal the parts of yourself that felt wounded, abandoned, or unworthy due to spiritual abuse. As you reconnect with your inner child, you’ll find that you have more access to your authentic self—the person you truly are, free from the rules and judgments that were placed on you by others.
For someone with spiritual abuse: You may have been taught to put others’ needs or religious rules before your own, but inner child work helps you reconnect with your own desires and needs, so you can start living more authentically and confidently.
How to Begin Inner Child Work:
Create a Safe Space: When starting inner child work, find a quiet, comfortable space where you can be alone with your thoughts and feelings. You might want to bring a comforting object or picture of yourself as a child.
Visualize Your Younger Self: Close your eyes and imagine yourself as a child. What did you look like? How did you feel? Try to connect with that version of yourself, and let them know you are here to listen.
Ask Questions with Compassion: Gently ask your inner child what they need or what they are feeling. For example, “What do you need right now to feel safe?” or “What are you afraid of?” Listen to the answers that come up, without judgment.
Reassure and Comfort: Offer kind and comforting words to your inner child. Let them know that they are loved, safe, and free to express themselves. You might say, “It’s okay to be angry,” or “I’m here for you, and I will protect you.”
Journal Your Experiences: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help process what comes up during inner child work. Journaling can also help you track your progress as you continue to reconnect with your inner child.
Final Thoughts:
For someone with a history of spiritual abuse, inner child work can be a deeply healing process that allows them to reclaim parts of themselves that were suppressed or shamed during childhood. By nurturing and listening to your inner child, you can heal from the emotional wounds caused by rigid spiritual teachings, rebuild trust with yourself, and create a sense of safety and acceptance. This process is about embracing your authentic self—not the version of you that was shaped by fear or control, but the version that is whole, worthy, and deserving of love.
