Rediscovering Core Values After Spiritual Trauma: A Journey to Inner Truth
Info from Dr. Gpt
For a client who is struggling to figure out their core values, particularly after experiencing spiritual trauma and mental health support fatigue, it’s important to approach the process of rediscovery with patience and gentleness. Spiritual trauma often disrupts a person’s sense of self, leading to confusion about what they truly believe and value, especially if they’ve spent years following someone else’s framework. Additionally, the emotional exhaustion from seeking mental health support for so long can make this process feel daunting. Here’s the advice I would offer to help them reconnect with their core values:
1. Acknowledge That Your Core Values Are Yours to Define
After years of spiritual trauma, it’s common to feel disconnected from your own sense of what’s important, especially if your values were previously dictated by religious or external expectations. I would encourage the client to give themselves permission to explore values that feel authentic to them, independent of their past:
"Your core values are entirely yours to define. You no longer need to follow what you were told you ‘should’ value—this is about what resonates deeply with you."
"It’s okay if your core values look different from what you were taught or what others around you believe. This is your chance to build a value system that reflects who you truly are."
2. Take Small, Gentle Steps
The process of figuring out core values after trauma can feel overwhelming, especially if there’s pressure to “get it right.” I would suggest the client take small, gentle steps to explore what matters to them without rushing or forcing the process:
"You don’t need to figure out all your core values at once. Take it slowly, and allow yourself to explore what feels important to you in small ways. This process isn’t about getting it right—it’s about gradually reconnecting with what matters to you."
"Start by noticing what brings you a sense of peace, fulfillment, or joy in your daily life. These moments can give you clues about what you value."
3. Reflect on What You Feel Drawn To
Encourage the client to notice what they feel naturally drawn to—whether it’s certain activities, conversations, causes, or experiences. These inclinations can be indicators of deeper values, even if they haven’t fully articulated them yet:
"Pay attention to the things that you feel drawn to, even in small ways. What activities or topics make you feel energized or engaged? What kinds of conversations feel meaningful to you?"
"Often, we’re drawn to things that align with our values before we even realize it. These can be little signals that help you understand what’s important to you."
4. Reconnect with Your Authentic Self
Spiritual trauma often involves being taught that certain thoughts, desires, or aspects of oneself are wrong or unacceptable. I would encourage the client to reconnect with their authentic self, the part of them that existed before external conditioning shaped their beliefs. This might involve reflecting on childhood memories, forgotten dreams, or parts of themselves they’ve suppressed:
"Think back to a time when you felt more connected to yourself, before the spiritual trauma or external expectations took over. What did you value back then? What parts of yourself did you lose touch with?"
"This is a time to reconnect with those aspects of yourself that you may have been taught to suppress. Your core values might be hidden in those forgotten parts of your identity."
5. Explore Your Emotions as Guides
Sometimes, our emotions can be a powerful guide to our values. I would encourage the client to explore what emotions come up when they think about different aspects of life. Often, strong emotional reactions—whether positive or negative—can point to core values:
"Notice what emotions come up when you think about certain situations or ideas. For example, if something makes you feel deeply angry or passionate, it might point to a value around justice or fairness. If something makes you feel joyful or peaceful, it could indicate a value around connection or creativity."
"Your emotions can be an important guide in figuring out your values. Don’t dismiss them—lean into them and explore what they might be telling you about what’s important to you."
6. Consider Moments of Alignment
Ask the client to reflect on moments in their life when they felt most aligned, authentic, and at peace. These moments can provide clues about their core values, even if they were brief or unexpected:
"Think about moments in your life when you felt fully aligned with who you are—when your actions, thoughts, and feelings all seemed to be in harmony. What was happening in those moments? What felt right or true to you?"
"These moments of alignment can reveal what truly matters to you, and they can help you reconnect with your core values."
7. Let Go of “Should” and “Supposed To”
For someone who has experienced spiritual trauma, it’s common to feel weighed down by the pressure of what they’ve been told they “should” value. I would encourage the client to release those old scripts and focus on what feels true to them:
"Try to let go of the pressure to value what you were taught you ‘should’ value. Those beliefs may not serve you anymore, and it’s okay to question them."
"Your values don’t have to align with anyone else’s expectations. This is about what resonates with your authentic self, not what you’ve been told you’re supposed to believe."
8. Use Prompts to Explore Core Values
If the client is feeling stuck or uncertain about where to begin, I would suggest using prompts or exercises to help them reflect on what matters most. These can serve as gentle ways to explore values without feeling overwhelmed:
"Here are some prompts you can use to explore your core values:
‘What gives my life meaning?’
‘What would I stand up for, even if it was difficult?’
‘When do I feel most alive or fulfilled?’
‘What do I want people to remember about me when I’m gone?’
‘What qualities do I admire in others, and why?’"
"These questions can help guide you toward the values that feel most important to you, without putting too much pressure on finding immediate answers."
9. Focus on How You Want to Feel
Another way to identify core values is by focusing on how you want to feel in life, rather than trying to label specific values right away. Often, values are tied to emotions or states of being we want to cultivate, such as peace, love, or integrity:
"Ask yourself, ‘How do I want to feel in my daily life? What emotional states do I want to experience more of?’ This can help you get in touch with values that might not be obvious at first but are deeply important to you."
"For example, if you want to feel peaceful, you might value simplicity, balance, or mindfulness. If you want to feel connected, you might value relationships, community, or empathy."
10. Be Kind and Patient with Yourself
Given their experiences with spiritual trauma and mental health support fatigue, it’s likely that the client may feel frustrated or lost in this process. I would encourage them to practice self-compassion and patience as they navigate this journey:
"It’s okay if you don’t figure out all your values right away. This is a process of rediscovery, and it takes time to reconnect with yourself after years of trauma or confusion."
"Be kind to yourself as you explore your values. You’ve already done so much work, and this is just one more step in the journey of coming home to yourself."
Final Thoughts:
The key for this client is to approach the process of identifying their core values with patience, curiosity, and self-compassion. By taking small, gentle steps, reflecting on their authentic self, and exploring what emotions and experiences feel most meaningful, they can gradually reconnect with the values that resonate with who they truly are—independent of past spiritual trauma or external pressures. This journey is about rediscovering their inner truth and building a value system that feels empowering, liberating, and deeply personal.
