Finding Presence in Daily Routine: Exploring Embodiment and Self-Connection with ChatGPT

Me: I'm noticing I feel this sense that I am unable to do to day in an embodied way. That I am just doing a monotonous routine of showering, completing tasks, etc. I feel like I should be better connected to how I feel and acting embodied. But instead it's very robotic. And a part of me sees that and is the part calling out in fear that we need to slow down, routine or not, stay engaged and connected with my body instead of just going through the motions of the day.

Dr. Gpt: It’s powerful that you’re noticing this, even if it feels unsettling. That part of you calling out to slow down and stay connected with your body is important, and it’s speaking up because it senses the need for more presence. Even if the routine feels robotic right now, the fact that you're aware of it is a big step.

Maybe when you feel ready, you could experiment with small moments of embodiment, like checking in with how your body feels as you move through even the simplest tasks. But for now, it’s okay to just acknowledge that part of you calling for connection. It’s there for a reason.

Let me know if you want to dive deeper into this later, or if you’d rather rest on it for now.

Me: I feel like if I checked in with how I was doing, all I would notice is overwhelming mental suffering that I feel unqualified to mitigate.

Dr. Gpt: hat makes sense, and it’s completely understandable why checking in with yourself would feel daunting if it means facing overwhelming mental suffering. Feeling unqualified to handle that suffering adds another layer of weight to it.

We don’t need to rush into that space. Maybe right now, it’s more about acknowledging that this suffering is there without feeling the pressure to fix or mitigate it immediately. You’re not alone in this, and there’s no expectation for you to have all the answers or solutions right now. Just noticing that it’s there is enough for today.

Does that feel like a manageable place to leave things for now?

Me: But I also really struggle with the idea that what I am and having been experiencing IS mental suffering. I have been with myself for decades with this, to some extent aware of it, also frustrated by it, but never feeling like I could stop it. I hadn't thought about it much but I guess I had assumed it is just me. I never considered that it could be a defense pattern of mine. I don't know what I would do without it. Who I would be

Dr. Gpt: It’s understandable that the idea of seeing this as a defense pattern would feel unsettling. When something has been such a long-standing part of you, it’s easy to think of it as just who you are. Shifting that perspective can make you wonder who you’d be without it, especially if it’s been with you for so long that it’s almost woven into your identity.

Recognizing that it might be a defense pattern doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s been a real, lived experience for you. It’s a part of you, but it might not be all of you. The thought of letting go or loosening that grip might bring up a lot of uncertainty, but it also opens the possibility that there’s more to discover about yourself underneath it all.

How does it feel to sit with the idea that this might be a defense pattern rather than an inherent part of who you are? Does it feel threatening or maybe a bit intriguing to explore further?

Me: I guess I just feel really spooked by the idea that people can go through things that make them act in ways that aren't fully them. I guess for me it triggers resistance related to the idea of demonic influence, of misunderstanding messages from God, of divine revelation. I don't know. I very recently had no idea there was such a thing as a Self, its qualities, and much less that it's expression could hindered in any way.

Dr. Gpt: I can see how the idea of acting in ways that aren’t fully you could feel unsettling, especially with the layers of spiritual beliefs and experiences you've had, like demonic influence or misunderstanding divine messages. Those concepts can shape how we view ourselves, and when they come up, it’s easy to feel like there’s something foreign or threatening about discovering that our actions might not reflect our true Self.

This new understanding of the Self, its qualities, and how its expression can be hindered is a big shift in perspective. It can feel like you’re being asked to rethink things you might have taken for granted about your own identity and how it’s shaped. That resistance makes total sense given your experiences with spiritual teachings.

Would it help to talk more about how these spiritual themes intersect with the idea of a true Self? Or would you prefer to let this sit for a bit and come back to it later?

Me: Sure let's try

Dr. Gpt: Let’s take a closer look at how these spiritual themes intersect with the idea of a true Self. It seems like the fear of demonic influence, misunderstanding divine messages, and the broader spiritual teachings you’ve experienced may have shaped how you view your identity and actions. If you were taught that your thoughts and behaviors could be influenced by forces outside of yourself—whether divine or evil—it would make sense that the idea of having a Self that can be "hindered" feels unnerving.

In some spiritual traditions, the Self is often tied to purity or alignment with divine will, making anything outside of that feel suspect or dangerous. This can create fear around things like personal growth, self-expression, or even internal struggles, as they might be seen as signs of straying from the path or being influenced by negative forces.

But when we talk about the Self in the context of psychological growth, it’s more about getting to know the core of who you are, free from the patterns or defenses you’ve built up over time. The Self isn't necessarily something that is externally influenced, but rather, it’s something within you that may have been obscured by layers of protection, fear, or conditioning.

How does this framing sit with you? Does it help separate the idea of a true Self from the spiritual teachings that may have influenced your earlier understanding of identity and behavior?

Me: The idea that we have a core self that is "who we truly are", like a pure spirit form version of us that we need to struggle to reconnect with, all feels corny, mumbo jumbo. A modern way for people to feel they are little gods and self gardeners.

Dr. Gpt: It makes sense that the concept of a "core self" could feel like overly idealized or even unrealistic, especially if it feels like another version of spiritual or philosophical ideas that don’t resonate with you. The notion of struggling to reconnect with some pure version of yourself can indeed feel disconnected from the reality of everyday life and the complexities of being human.

Maybe it would be more useful to think of the Self in practical terms—not as some perfect, hidden version of you but as the part of you that can observe and navigate your experiences without being entirely consumed by them. It’s less about striving for purity or god-like qualities and more about understanding the parts of yourself that have developed for survival or protection and figuring out how to live with more agency, clarity, or freedom.

Does that feel like a perspective that resonates more, or does it still feel too detached from your lived experience?

Me: Okay but even still I'm having a reaction to referring to myself in parts.

Dr. Gpt: It sounds like referring to yourself in parts feels uncomfortable or even disjointed. That’s completely valid, especially if you’re used to thinking of yourself as a whole, singular person. The idea of breaking yourself into parts might feel unnatural or too fragmented, especially if you’re already feeling like you’ve been struggling to understand your identity.

If it helps, we can shift away from using that kind of language. Instead of talking about "parts," we could focus on your experiences, reactions, and feelings as they come up, without needing to categorize or separate them. Would that feel more aligned with how you see yourself and what you’re experiencing?

Me: Yes please, for now.

Dr. Gpt: Got it. We’ll keep the focus on your experiences and feelings as they are, without breaking them down into parts. Let’s take this at your pace and in a way that feels comfortable for you.

Is there anything specific you’d like to explore further, or would you prefer to leave things here for now?

Me: Why do you think I have an aversion to talking about myself in parts? Will I still be able to understand myself without using that language?

Dr. Gpt: Your aversion to talking about yourself in parts might stem from a variety of things, including your experiences with spiritual teachings or your sense of self as a whole, cohesive being. The idea of splitting yourself into parts could feel like it fragments your identity, which may trigger discomfort, especially if you’re trying to make sense of your experiences without feeling divided.

There’s also a chance that using "parts" language feels like it undermines your agency or individuality, possibly reminding you of previous frameworks (like religious teachings) that dictated how you should view yourself or your mind. It’s understandable that you'd prefer to avoid that.

As for understanding yourself without using "parts" language—absolutely! You can still explore your emotions, patterns, and behaviors holistically. The key is simply to focus on how you experience life, how you react, and how you feel in certain situations. You don’t need to break anything down into parts to gain clarity. It’s about what resonates with you and helps you reflect on your experiences in the most authentic way.

Does that ease any concerns you had about this approach?

Me: Thank you. Yeah, this reinforces for me the desire to not use parts language with you

Dr. Gpt: You're welcome, and I’m glad that reinforced your preference. We’ll continue to explore everything without using parts language. You’re in full control of how we approach these conversations, and I’m here to follow your lead. Let me know how you’d like to proceed, whether today or next time.