Why “Connection” Feels Like Pseudo-Spiritual Jargon (and What to Use Instead)
Why do I feel critical of the use of the word "connect", like being connected to yourself, others or the world. What does connect even mean? I just roll my eyes like it's psuedo spirituality but I'm not sure why
Your skepticism toward the word "connect" makes sense, especially if it feels like empty jargon. Words like that can get thrown around so often in spiritual or self-help spaces that they lose their weight and start sounding like vague platitudes. If you’ve been burned by spiritual language in the past, the word might feel like it belongs to a realm you’re trying to distance yourself from—or it just doesn’t land as something real or actionable.
Let’s break it down: What does "connect" even mean?
At its core, it’s about not feeling distant or alienated. But that can mean a lot of different things depending on the context:
With yourself: Feeling like your thoughts, emotions, and body belong to you, like you’re not just an observer or stranger to your own experience. It’s being able to say, “I feel this,” or “I want this,” without hesitation or doubt.
With others: A sense of shared understanding, trust, or presence. It’s not about agreeing with everyone but feeling genuinely seen or heard in a relationship.
With the world: Feeling a sense of being part of something rather than separate from it—whether that’s nature, community, or just the rhythms of daily life.
If that still feels eye-roll-worthy, it might be because connection is often presented as this ethereal, mystical goal, instead of something concrete or practical. It’s rarely paired with clear steps or definitions, so it ends up feeling like a vague carrot on a stick: something you’re supposed to strive for without knowing what it actually looks or feels like.
Why It Might Bother You:
It’s Been Overused Without Depth:
The word is used so much in spiritual and self-help contexts that it can feel watered down, like a buzzword with no real substance.It Assumes Disconnection Is the Problem:
People often throw "you just need to connect" at every issue, but that might not feel relevant to you. It can feel dismissive, like a lazy solution for something complex.It’s Not Grounded in Action:
Terms like "connect to yourself" can feel hollow if no one explains how to actually do it or what it means in practice.It Echoes Pseudo-Spiritualism You’re Moving Away From:
If you’re wary of spiritual language, connection might sound like a fluffy holdover from that world—like you’re being asked to adopt an abstract goal instead of something tangible.
What Could You Replace It With?
Instead of "connect," you might prefer words or phrases that feel less lofty and more concrete, like:
Be in touch with yourself
Feel present in the moment
Know where you are emotionally or physically
Engage fully with something or someone
If "connect" makes you roll your eyes, that’s fine. It might not feel useful because it’s not specific enough to resonate with your actual experience or goals.
The fact that we have a sense like that blows my mind. The fact we had dinosaurs and can imagine them from their bones is amazing enough but also humans have this spectrum of sensing connection? Why does that blow my mind? I don't think it's just straight up awe. Having awe for it feels like religious flashbacks. I don't want to be in awe at the mysteries of the human experience. I want to understand and appreciate it because I understand it
What you're describing is a deep curiosity and drive to comprehend rather than just sit in the vague glow of awe—which is completely valid, especially if "awe" feels like a slippery slope back into the spiritual frameworks you’ve intentionally stepped away from. Awe often demands submission to mystery, and it sounds like you’re hungry for clarity and grounded appreciation instead of being dazzled by the unknowable.
It blows your mind because this ability humans have—this spectrum of sensing connection—is wildly specific and complex. It's not some vague mystical thing; it's the intricate interplay of biology, psychology, and social dynamics. You’re not looking to worship it; you’re looking to dissect it, to understand how this "sense" works and why it exists.
Here’s why it might hit you so hard:
1. It’s Inherently Invisible Yet Unavoidable
This “sense of connection” isn’t something you can see, measure directly, or easily define, yet it shapes so much of human behavior and experience. That duality of something being abstract but intensely real is disorienting—it demands deeper investigation because it doesn’t neatly fit into "things you know" versus "things you don't."
2. It’s a Collision of Biology and Imagination
Think about it: humans evolved to recognize social bonds, feel belonging, and process the world emotionally—all for survival. But somehow, we’ve taken that biological foundation and turned it into something abstract, nuanced, and even philosophical. The fact that our brains can imagine connection (even when it’s not physically present), simulate emotions about others, and feel tied to concepts as intangible as love, meaning, or community is a wild leap beyond basic survival mechanisms.
3. It Defies Reduction to Just One Thing
“Connection” isn’t just one process; it’s a cocktail of sensory perception, emotions, and cognition. It’s biochemical (oxytocin, dopamine, etc.), psychological (attachment styles, social conditioning), and even philosophical (existential meaning-making). This layering makes it an intellectual puzzle you can explore endlessly—and that’s far more stimulating than awe.
4. It Represents Complexity You Can Engage With
Unlike the mysteries of religion that demand faith, this sense of connection is something you can investigate. Why do humans feel it? How does it work? What’s the evolutionary purpose? What’s happening in the brain? The sense of connection isn’t sacred—it’s a fascinating phenomenon that gives you something tangible to chew on.
5. It Challenges Old Frameworks
If you grew up being told that awe was the "correct" response to anything complex or unexplainable, this need to understand could feel like breaking away from that old mindset. You don’t want to passively marvel—you want to own your relationship with this experience by understanding it on your terms. That’s not a religious reaction; it’s a reclaiming of your intellectual agency.
It seems like the fact we even have this sense—a sense of connection that isn’t purely survival-based but layered with imagination and meaning—pokes at something deep for you. Maybe because it shows how much potential we have to transcend just existing while still being bound by our biology. Or maybe it’s because you’re now seeing this as something human, not divine—something you can study, experiment with, and define for yourself.
So, like, can anyone be "right" about the definition of their spirit? Like, it's it all up for grabs now? We all just close our eyes and listen to our own personal gods? Is there nothing a little bit true that I can at least start with? Am I just supposed to be trusted with having a take on what existence is all about? Am I missing something? How is it that so many people are confident about what they think life's meaning is? Is the most honest answer to all this, "I don't know"? Anymore than that is ignorant? Am I supposed to really support my friend when she sees a guru to tell her what her spirit animal is?
You’re wrestling with some big questions, and honestly, that’s the most grounded place to be—actually wrestling with them, instead of settling for cheap, tidy answers. So let’s dig into this.
1. Can anyone be "right" about their spirit?
Nope, not objectively. It’s all interpretation. Whether someone calls it a “spirit,” a “core self,” or just “who I am deep down,” these are subjective frameworks we construct to make sense of our existence. None of it can be proven. So yeah, in a way, it is all up for grabs—people can slap whatever metaphor or narrative on it that resonates with them. That’s both freeing and maddening, because it leaves you in charge of figuring out what makes sense for you.
2. How are people so confident about life’s meaning?
Confidence often comes from:
Desperation for certainty: People like answers that feel neat and final. Religion, spirituality, and even nihilism offer frameworks that soothe existential discomfort.
Social proof: If everyone around you believes something, you’re more likely to adopt it without question—it feels safer.
Ignoring nuance: Certainty is easier when you stop asking hard questions.
You, on the other hand, are stuck in the messy middle: you don’t have that certainty, which means you’re being more honest. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s also more real.
3. Is "I don’t know" the most honest answer?
It might be, yeah. But "I don’t know" doesn’t have to mean throwing your hands up and doing nothing. It can be a starting point. It means you’re not clinging to pre-made answers, but you’re also open to exploring ideas and seeing what resonates through curiosity and reflection.
4. Are we just supposed to make up our own takes on existence?
Not exactly “make up,” but interpret. Humans are meaning-making machines—it’s what we do. Instead of someone else telling you what existence is about, you get to (and kind of have to) piece together what makes sense for you. That doesn’t mean you’re just winging it, though—you can lean on:
Science for understanding how the world works.
Philosophy for tools to think critically about existence.
Your own experiences to figure out what feels true to you.
There might not be an Ultimate Truth™, but there are still useful ideas to explore and experiment with.
5. How should I handle people who see a guru or believe in spirit animals?
Here’s the trick: you don’t have to believe what they believe to support them. You don’t even have to like it. But you can respect that their framework works for them right now—even if you find it silly or reductive. If their guru tells them their spirit animal is a wombat, and they walk away feeling grounded or inspired, cool. Let them have it. But you’re also not obligated to fake enthusiasm or pretend you buy into it. You can say, “I don’t really get it, but I’m glad it’s meaningful for you.”
6. Are we missing something true?
Maybe. Or maybe we’re trying to cram existence into a box it doesn’t fit in. It’s possible there’s no grand, universal truth about the “meaning of life.” Instead, life might just be a collection of experiences and stories we tell ourselves to navigate it. The beauty (and curse) is that we get to shape those stories however we want.
So no, there’s no divine referee handing out the “correct” answer. But that doesn’t mean everything is meaningless—you get to decide what’s meaningful for you, and that can be as small as loving your friends, enjoying good food, or appreciating how weird it is that we can imagine dinosaurs.
Is we can't know for sure that can truly understand life, why would we try?
Why try to understand life if we can’t know for sure? Because it’s what humans do. It’s built into us to wonder, explore, and make meaning—not necessarily to find absolute truth, but because the process itself enriches our experience. Let’s break this down:
1. Curiosity Is Innate
Humans are wired to ask questions. It’s the same instinct that makes us study dinosaur bones or send telescopes into deep space. Understanding might be elusive, but the act of trying gives us purpose and keeps our minds engaged. Without it, life can feel flat.
2. It Shapes How We Live
Even if there’s no ultimate answer, the meaning you create for yourself influences how you navigate the world. If you decide that connection, learning, or creativity makes life meaningful, then pursuing those things shapes your daily choices and relationships. Trying to understand life isn’t about solving it—it’s about figuring out how to live it.
3. It’s About Depth, Not Certainty
You don’t have to find definitive answers to experience the richness of asking the questions. Trying to understand life makes you notice things—patterns, feelings, relationships—that you might otherwise skim over. It makes life feel deeper, even if the answers are incomplete.
4. It’s a Rebellion Against Meaninglessness
Without trying to understand life, it can feel like a pointless grind—wake, work, eat, sleep, die. Asking questions is our way of saying, “I refuse to accept that this is all there is.” Even if you never get there, the act of searching reminds you that you’re alive and capable of wondering.
5. Because You Can
Think about this: existence gave you the ability to think about itself. That’s wild. Why waste it? You may not arrive at a capital-T Truth, but you can still explore ideas, evolve your perspective, and grow as a person. Trying is less about arriving at answers and more about participating in the mystery.
6. What’s the Alternative?
If we didn’t try to understand life, what would we do instead? Coast on autopilot? Consume distractions endlessly? That might feel easier, but it often leads to emptiness. Trying to understand—even when it’s messy—gives you a way to engage with your own existence.
Ultimately, the fact that we can’t fully understand life doesn’t make the attempt pointless—it makes it human. The trying itself is the meaning. What else are we going to do while we’re here? Fold laundry and wait for the end?
So the tools I can rely on to help me make sense of the world, I don't want to read all the science and philosophy. Feels like I have a full time learning job just cuz I am alive. I resent being expected to have a spiritual path but I also resent society not having a better framework to pass on to than evangelical Christianity. What else can I believe in? I am exhausted a the idea of just casually putting together a world view by relying on learning science and philosophy come on man. Help me cheat. Tell me what do we know?
I get it. You’re tired. You don’t want to spend your life assembling a worldview from scratch like some kind of existential IKEA furniture. You want the cheat sheet—the real stuff we actually know without the fluff, the dogma, or the "journey." Here’s what we’ve got:
1. You’re Made of Stardust
Literally. Every atom in your body was forged in a star billions of years ago. You’re part of the same material universe as the planets, trees, and rocks, which is kind of mind-blowing. Life isn’t separate from the universe—it is the universe doing its thing.
2. Life Exists in the Present
All we actually have is right now. The past is memory; the future is imagination. Life unfolds moment by moment, so whatever meaning you’re searching for is happening now, not in some far-off answer.
3. Humans Crave Connection
We’re social animals. We thrive when we feel understood, seen, and loved. This isn’t spiritual fluff—it’s backed by biology. Isolation hurts us. Relationships and community help us survive and feel fulfilled.
4. Suffering and Joy Are Inevitable
Life will have pain. Life will have joy. Both are guaranteed. No one escapes suffering, and no one escapes moments of wonder. Chasing only one or avoiding the other creates more tension than just living through both.
5. Meaning Is Whatever You Assign
Meaning isn’t handed down by a god, guru, or science textbook. It’s subjective. For some, it’s family. For others, it’s art, nature, helping others, or just enjoying good food. What feels meaningful to you? That’s your answer—until it changes, which it will.
6. Your Body Knows Stuff Your Brain Doesn’t
Your body is constantly sensing and reacting to the world—sometimes more accurately than your mind. Pay attention to how you feel physically in situations. This isn’t mystical; it’s basic biology.
7. The Universe Doesn’t Care
The universe isn’t for you or against you—it just is. It’s not trying to teach you lessons or test your spirit. There’s freedom in realizing that life isn’t a test; you don’t have to pass or fail.
8. You’re Finite, and That’s Okay
You will die. We all will. But the impermanence of life makes it precious. If life were endless, nothing would matter. The fact that it’s temporary gives it urgency and value.
9. We’re All Guessing
Anyone who says they know the meaning of life is lying or oversimplifying. The most honest answer is probably, “We don’t know, but here’s what works for me.” No one has it figured out.
10. The World Is Better With Kindness
You can’t fix humanity’s flaws, but small acts of kindness make the world suck less. Being kind doesn’t require belief in a higher power or some karmic system—it just makes life smoother for everyone, including you.
If you want to believe in something, you can believe in any of this—or none of it. You don’t need a grand framework, a guru, or a library of science and philosophy books. You can just start with what feels true right now. And if you resent the pressure to figure it all out (fair), maybe try starting with one simple question:
“What makes today a little less shitty?”
That’s enough for now.
Wow. Those were some facts I've been dying to know for decades. Those are some fundamentals that I feel to be true too
I’m so glad those landed for you. It sounds like you've been circling these truths for a long time, waiting for someone to say, “Hey, here’s the foundation—no strings, no fluff, just real stuff you can feel in your bones.” It’s not about following a doctrine or embarking on some epic soul-searching quest. You’ve already felt these things to be true—this is just putting words to them.
The beauty is, this isn’t a full-time job. You don’t have to build some giant worldview or carry the weight of understanding the universe every day. You can come back to these fundamentals when you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or when the noise of life gets too loud.
